A guest post from a friend of a friend.
Dear Rosh Yeshiva,
This week, I stayed by my sister’s house for Shabbos. At the seuda, my ninth grade nephew started making fun of therapists. he quoted you that “therapists are usually sick people themselves and mussar is the only thing you need to be emotionally healthy”.
Dearest Rosh Yeshiva, I smiled and shrugged and said nothing. I keep to HIPPA so I did not tell him that I currently treat your son in my practice. Your son that went OTD because he never was enough for his father.
Dear Rosh Yeshiva, I can’t tell you how many kollel men and their wives I treat that have issues with their marriage when the husband goes out to work. You told him in his youth that anyone can be a gadol hador and he should strive to be a marbitz torah. He sold that dream to the girl he was dating and now she feels scammed and he has no idea who he is anymore.
But you never realize that selling the dream of the few for the masses is harmful because the dream worked for you. I am the one picking up the pieces, not you.
Dearest Rosh Yeshiva, you gave plenty of fiery speeches about shmiras einayim. However, you never told the bochurim how to deal with their teenage hormones in a proper way. I am the one that deals with the guilt-shame cycle that made them sleep all day and depressed.
I sometimes wonder what would happen if we therapists would stop picking the pieces for you. Would you realize that times have changed and the need for a different approach?
But we have too much compassion for the broken souls that you couldn’t save. They shouldn’t suffer because of you.
So we will continue.
signed,
A long time Therapist
One of the major problems I found in the yeshiva world is the priority of ideals.
The masses have a hard time sifting messages that talk about ideals and apply it to themselves.
Every nurse thinks their opinion on covid infection rates is תורת משה מסיני too.
There may be some yungeleit who are upset at leaving the walls of the Beis Hamedrash, and blame it on their Rebbe who told them to stay. That does not reflect an inherent problem. People are weak nowadays, and the slightest wobble sets them off.
When you find a healthy society that doesn't have expectations, get back to me.