Go Shteig, Young Man

Context for my Modox readers

After publishing “The Unmaking of a Gadol”, I received a worried message from a Modox kid learning in a coed school asking me if he should ditch the year in Israel. So let me clarify things, for those from a different community than my original yeshivish target audience:

Yeshiva is awesome! You should definitely go.

I, contrary to the posts I platform here, LOVED my years in yeshiva. I thrived in Mesivta. There’s nothing else in the world like it. Its a world full of boys who take life seriously, treat each other with respect and kindness, and where other boys there age are watching porn, getting drunk, and experimenting with drugs, they are getting close to God, connecting to their ancient traditions, and experimenting with Torah. It’s a unique bubble and everyone should experience it in their lives (yes even women).

To quote Zichron Devarim:

I don't think single-minded focus has to come with pressure. Meet old-timer Talmidei Chachamim and you will see that learning is shmuzing, learning is life, jokes are nerdy ones about a sugya, excitement is about a new sevara, and curiosity is how the Shach adds to the machlokes Rishonim.

I remember waking up thinking of a Rambam’s question, where I didn’t care about politics but just a stira, and where I was concerned about other people’s feelings to a fault. I felt close to Hashem and spiritually ‘there’. I felt like the elite. It is an experience I will never forget¹ and that I am grateful for.

That said, there are many negative aspects that arise when one actually takes the propoganda about learning literally, which is happening far too often and posted about at length elsewhere in my blog.

Radicalizing Rebbeim Revisited

I personally never had an issue in yeshiva, because thanks to my parents, I was allowed outside interests, was encouraged to develop a healthy sense of self, and I myself didn’t believe any of it (and I suspect most kids who grow up in the system don’t either). It was just exaggeration to me. (My bigger trauma was when I realized what they taught me wasn’t factually true, and that scientists and the outside world weren’t the idiots they made them seem to be).

To quote my comment on YA’s post:

I'll be honest: this is a great piece which is why I published it. But it is also a great example of why you shouldn't raise your kids to be a harry. If you plan on raising your kids in the Yeshivish velt, raise them that way from the beginning. A yeshivish kid would see through most of the BS and understand it's exaggerated. A harry though takes it literally. This is a kid who never heard of bitul Torah until 10th grade! Of course he's going to take it seriously. A yeshivish kid knows bitul Torah is like Lashon Hara and everyone needs to chill.

A similar thing happens when Americans go to Israeli Yeshivos and take the propaganda literally. It's why wannabes end up Etznikim.

And as a friend said to me:

I think that depending on the person's background, they take the system very differently. Even in Peekskill there were definitely guys there that came from a house that who's parents weren't part of the Yeshiva world and they took these things really seriously and intensely, and that led to a traumatic experience. On the other hand people who came from a house that was more yeshivish and knew the system better, especially those that their father's were rabbis and had "rabbi's son syndrome" didn't take all the bullshit so seriously.

None of this is to excuse the yeshivos from spreading that propaganda of torah is the only thing that matters and how everything else is worthless. It’s damaging and should be stopped! They should encourage and allow outside interests. And they should try to find real answers to the scientific questions instead of desperately hoping the bubble holds. And age 13 is too young for a lot of the messaging which would be better saved for Beis Medrash when kids can better contextualize things.²

That said, the Yeshiva is a unique place, and a unique lifestyle, and with healthy parents³ and at age 18 instead of the young 13-year-olds us yeshivish guys were, you Modox kids should definitely go. Put down your iPhones, ditch your girlfriends for a year, and stop eating those Triangle-K chalav stam Funyons and go immerse yourself in the unique experience of just learning Torah. It’s an experience you will never forget and be grateful you had.

And if you find yourself getting depressed or heavy? Guess what! You can leave. Now that you know thanks to my blog its not an aveira to leave, you’ll have a great time.

Go shteig, young man.

1. Even with therapy (that’s a joke)

2. Now many 8th grades in Lakewood don’t offer real ‘English’ because the kids think its not important so they don’t behave. How can a 7th grader know what he will need for the rest of his life?

3. One wonders where YA’s parents were? Why didn’t they step in? I suspect they too bought the BS. (Edit: he responded in top pinned comment).